As it’s #selfcare week, here is a cordial reminder of the importance of sexual self care.
No you dirty bugger- it’s not just about wanking (although, that is kinda part of it).
Sexual self care is about all increasing your wellness.
And specifically your sexual wellness.
It makes sense that if you’re feeling tired, empty, sad, numb… you aren’t going to be able to pour out any hot love making any time soon.
So sexual self-care is about filling your cup up and looking after yourself so that you nourish your sexual identity.
So, how do you do it?
(I hear you wondering furiously.)
Because our sexual health is so linked to our mental and physical health, looking after the latter two will always increase the first.
So sexual self-care involves looking after all parts of you (physical, emotional, social, sensual) so that you feel in tip-top shape to have sex.
Some of those things may involve more explicitly sexual activities, others are just general self-care that makes you feel good.
So this could be anything from running, to reading books on sex to painting your toe-nails.
Try to think of it as an investment in yourself, just as you might put a face mask on or get a massage for your physical health!
Below are some of my personal examples, but we’re all different so what works for you is completely individual:
- There is an amazing guide called “how to create a satisfying sex life using self care“ over on The Good Sex which is really worth a look!
- “What the heck is sexual self-care?” (WomanLab)
- “My Daily Sexual Self-care Practise” (Layla Martin)
The most important thing?
By far the most important (and difficult) thing about sexual self-care is finding time to do so.
It often slips off of a to-do list because it feels indulgent, and not necessary.
But if you want to want sex, and figure out that to want sex you need to be freshly washed and have brushed your hair, then self-care is totally important.
Without it, your sex drive is always going to be at a low ebb.
Try blocking out time every week for sexual self-care.
It’s about really ring fencing the time you spend on yourself as much as you can, so that you’re able to dedicate the energy you deserve into making you want sex and not feeling selfish for doing so.
How about you, do you sexually self-care? I’d love to know in the comments.