Sexiness is ALL about how you feel and not about how you look.

Yesterday I happened to look round into a mirror, and felt horror at what I saw.

I noticed all my bumps, lumps and flaws, and I thought- how can someone who looks like me ever be sexy?

And if I don’t feel sexy, how will I ever feel like having sex? 

Your thoughts and feelings about your body are directly linked to your libido.

If you feel confident about your body, proud of your parts, then you’re more likely to want to show it off.

If you feel rubbish, it’s more likely you’ll:

  • shy away from sex
  • be reluctant to undress
  • not really let yourself get carried away in the moment.


My whole life I’ve never thought of myself as a “sexy person”.

I have always been the tallest girl in my class, towering over the boys, and although I remember being told that supermodels are tall and that I’ll be glad when I’m older, I found myself feeling like a giant skyscraper that stuck out like a sore thumb.

I also have Kyfosis, meaning my back sticks out at a slightly funny angle and I get bad back pain. Probably not helped by the fact that I stooped to fit in, apologising for the space I was taking up in the world.

How can someone be sexy who has slightly hunched shoulders and is super awkward?

However, today I had a huge revelation…

Being sexy is NOTHING to do with how you look and ALL about how you FEEL.

Maybe obvious to some, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Who wins from us hating our bodies? 

We certainly don’t.

We hide ourselves away, hurt ourselves, cover up or spend money on altering how we look. And we lose out.

Think about who profits from our insecurity? And why they’d have a vested interest in keeping us that way?

This is your call to action:

Reject the idea that only a certain body type is sexy.

Don’t allow the media to narrow your perceptions of sexiness.

Sexiness is ALL about how you feel and not about how you look.

You can’t buy that feeling and we often spend so much time trying to “do” sexy, rather than just “be”, that we lose ourselves in the pursuit of it.

So instead of what can you do to feel sexy, think about how can you be to feel sexy.


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