Many women (about 70%) have a more “slow burn” approach to having sex.
I’ve written a whole post about it here, but in a nutshell if that’s you, you might find that quite often you lack the desire to have sex until after you’ve been warmed up a bit through kissing, touching and foreplay. And that’s totally OK- it’s most of the women in the world that feel like this!
I’ve been there, and found that often I had to “just do it”- aka begin foreplay/sex- when I felt a bit cold, and enjoyment would come after.
Through doing this, I found some tried and tested tips and tricks below to help you get in the mood for sex quicker! They work because they recreate that turned on state you feel when you have sex and so trick your mind and body into being aroused. Do you think they’d work for you too?
*FYI: NOONE should be having sex that they don’t want to have, that hurts, feels uncomfortable, or just because someone else wants to. I used these tips when I knew I wanted to have sex because I knew I’d enjoy it once i got into it, not because I was doing it for my partner or because I was somehow coerced into it. Please use them wisely*
HOW TO GET IN THE MOOD FOR SEX QUICKLY
Tip one: the back arch
When lying horizontally on your back, arch your back so your pelvis tilts forwards and stick out your breasts. It works because that’s the position you’d make when he goes down on you and you bend for him to get better access, as well as what happens when you orgasm. Your boobs are on show (so I for one feel more sensual), and theres just something really sexy about a back arch 🙂
Tip two: the toe curl
Same as the above- just keep curling your toes, almost pulsating them, and use in conjunction with tips one and four- it mimics what your body would do when you orgasm and gets you back into your body rather than your mind.
Tip three: lube is your friend!
Use lube- glorious lube. I love JO H20 because it’s fragrance free (they haven’t paid me for saying that, honest!) and I have sensitive skin. But lube again recreates what your vagina would be doing if you were turned on, allows for easier access, and tricks you into thinking you’re horny. Genius!
Tip four: kegels
I don’t know about you, but my vagina pulsates when I orgasm. So fake it until you make it! Squeeze the heck out of those kegels lady, but do it in lovely waves. Soon you’ll start to become super aware of whats going on downstairs, and then it’s a one- way ticket to turn-on town. (I hate myself a little bit for writing that haha but it’s true!).
Tip five: sense-ational
Get the music pumping! I swear your brain waves associate pleasure with sound, so whack on the tracks that make you feel most sexy. You could also light some candles, incense, spray a bit of your favourite perfume on or his after shave. Close your eyes and smell… let it take you back to when you first met, or a time you had sex and it was great.
Tip six: learn to associate one object with pleasure.
If all else fails, you can trick yourself into kick starting your sexual response by learning to associate one object with pleasure.
For example, I have a vibrator (the Tracey Cox Wand… bloody hell I’d recommend it!). I know using it is a surefire way of making me orgasm. Every time I bring it out now, its so associated with pleasure that I can get into the mood much quicker. You can do the same with anything- a nightie, a pair of pants, a whip, a song…. whatever floats your boat!
Hope that helps 🙂 I’d love to hear if you have any other tips or tricks in the comments below xx