7. Relationship patterns and habits,  Pleasure and sex education

Are you having brussel sprout sex?

In honour of the festive season I wanted to write this post, but firstly, let me clear up the title of this article. Not “Are you having sex with Brussel sprouts? “- (don’t worry if that’s you, I’m sure there is a corner of the internet dedicated to solely that!). No. This article is about brussel sprout sex. Let me explain…

We all know what we like and don’t like when it comes to food.

We decide how we want to prepare and season our food. Whether you are a gourmet chef serving yourself up duck a l’orange, or just cheese on toast, our lives are about a journey during which we learn how to cook our meals.

Often it reflects our mood and taste buds. Sometimes we love spice, other times it’s sweet. Some nights, you might skip straight to dessert, or have cereal for dinner, just because you want to! Some of us may LOVE brussel sprouts, others may never even let their place touch them let alone eat them at Christmas.

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Now I want you to imagine for a moment that for every night of the week you have to eat whatever dinner has been cooked for you, exactly how the cook wanted it. No ability to season, spice, intervene or yell instructions.

Some of you might be lucky and get served up a yummy dinner.

But others might have a partner who serves up prison slop (this would be me, my poor partner!) or put something that you really DISLIKE on your plate (aka our trusty brussel sprouts).

Sometimes it’s great to not to have to decide. We’ve always got the choice to decline, or go and have a snack in our rooms alone later (wink wink).

But other times, imagine the whole range of delicious foods you’d never know existed– and never know you liked- if you just ate what was given to you and didn’t take charge of cooking what you’d like for the main course.

Now, I know you know this is coming. Let’s apply the same idea to sex.

Brussel sprouts do not equal sexual pleasure

Imagine ladies, you might be having the brussel sprouts of the sex world just because you’ve never mentioned how you like your sex.

We are missing out on fulfilling our deeper needs as women, a whole world of fun, and also, we’re in danger of being easily led by others that might not have the same taste buds as us if we don’t take control of what we want in bed.

Some people might find it comes more naturally to express what they want and seek it out. Other people might find what they want is on a very niche menu somewhere in a specialist restaurant. Others of us may have never even thought about what we want and how we’ve gone along with the flow, and it’s time for us to start!

For me, I realised that I’ve just been eating what my boyfriend serves up, every night of the week, because I haven’t had the confidence to mention how I like it.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a pretty darn good cook (if you get my drift ;)). But I’d always adjust my food to how I like it, tell him what I’d like for tea, or take turns in cooking to practise my kitchen skills. So why not, in bed?

All of this came to me in a big thunderclap of amazingness…

There isn’t some big secret to sex, being good at it, or becoming a wild sexual lioness. It’s just down to small changes where you express your wants and needs, the same as you would telling someone about how you like your cup of tea.

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Whats clear though is that asking for what you want, however you decide to do that, is key to you feeling sexual pleasure.

And if sex is something that feels great, you’re more likely to want it. Simples.

xx

P.S. Read my awkward girls guide to dirty talk for more ideas on how to express yourself in bed!

 

 

 

2 Comments

  • Posy Churchgate

    You’re so right Elle, and its been staring most of us in the face. I always like to add my own seasoning! But I think I must also take care that I dont keep serving up OH MY favourite dishes too!

    • Elle

      Hahaha, too much of a good thing can be bad. Need to keep your most delicious dishes a novelty so when you crack them out your guest is suitably wowed 🙂

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