Anxiety can wreak havoc on your sex drive, with worried thoughts completely closing down any sense of desire. Find out more about why this happens here.

Alongside some tips for managing in the moment when you’re worrying, below are some more general ways to help ease anxiety below (including some ideas you might not have thought of!).

Tips to manage anxiety

#1: Consider the impact of caffeine

Although coffee is for many of us our one true love, the cumulative impact of having a ton of caffeine in your system might mean your worried thoughts increase. Read more here about my personal story of cutting out caffeine (spoiler alert- it definitely helped!)

#2: Take up journalling

A diary can really help as it’s a space to write out worries, ideas and fears. You can then shut the book, turn a page, and crack on with living.

There are also apps that can help with anxiety that work similar to a journal- try Youper for a great digital worry assistant!

#3. Understand why it’s hard to let go:

It’s really hard to just “lose yourself” during sex if you have anxiety. Find out why it’s hard to relax and allow yourself to be vulnerable in this post about letting go to the point of foolishness during sex

#4. Initiate sex

When you initiate you are focused on what you are doing to your partner (with the added bonus of taking back some control of your sex life) which will help stop your mind wandering.

#5: Get into astronomy

What do planets and the moon have to do with your sex drive, right? Yes this sounds weird, but something about looking at space can make you feel so comfortably inconsequential that your worries just melt away.

#6: Get moving when you’re having sex

Anxiety can be paralysing, and you might find yourself on your back with your head in the clouds. It’s really important to keep moving- find out more here.

#7: Use post-it notes to stay present

Strange, yes. Does it work? Hell yeah! Find out more here.

#8: Use lube

Lube can be SO helpful when you’re worrying about sex to the point that you’re not getting wet.

#9: Limit multi-tasking

Multi-tasking is BAD for our brains. Sex is all about being in the moment- multi-tasking is being in several moments at once.

#10: Breathe, feel, and don’t think

“Feel, don’t think. Trust your instincts”- Qui-Gon Jinn

Try to breathe deeply and keep bringing your thoughts back to the sensations in your body. Often anxiety means we don’t pay attention to what elicits a sexual response because our thoughts are too loud. So instead of thinking, try focussing on your breath and the feelings that are evoked through touch etc.

#11: Learn how to stay present

This is a HUGE section, and involves things like mindfulness, getting back in touch with your senses, yoga… click here to begin exploring.

How about you- does anxiety impact your libido too? How do you manage it?

P.S. Don’t be afraid to seek advice or help from specialists for anxiety if it’s affecting you badly.