Last weekend I did an online Life Coaching diploma.
I always thought life coaching was a little fluffy, and couldn’t see how it might help me. However, I decided to take the plunge (it was only £20, so why not), brought a new notebook (I have a stationary fetish- nothing more motivating than fresh white pages) and sat down to give it a crack.
You end up with a diploma (so are qualified to be a life coach- apparently), but what I was more interested in was the life coaching yourself bit first.
Amazingly, I devoured all seven modules in a weekend.
I wrote notes so furiously I almost set the paper alight.
I had so many lightbulb moments my brain nearly blew a fuse.
And I can honestly say I have found it life-changing.
Life coaching offers a space to help us work out what we really want in life, what’s holding us back, and how we can achieve our goals.
And I decided to try and pose my sex life (and low sex drive) as the problem to try to figure out an answer.
So. I asked myself these three coaching questions:
1. What do I want? (aka what’s the sex life of my dreams?)
2. What’s holding me back from living this life?
3. What am I afraid of?
Simple, but powerful questions that cut the bullshit and went right to the heart of the issues. My brain near-on exploded, but I had so many revelations while hastily filling the pages with scribbles:
- I wrote that I want to be free– to have wild sex, get lost in the moment, to appreciate and love my body. I want to feel like a sexual person that embraces pleasure rather than being stuck in my head and worrying all the time.
2. SO many things are holding me back! My own self-esteem and lack of love for my body, negative beliefs about what I look like, being stuck inside my own head not experiencing pleasure in my body, and not spending time on myself to look after me. Basically, I’m holding me back- no one else!
3. I’m afraid of FEAR: of being judged, being laughed at, of letting go of old patterns that possibly protect me
Strangely, where I thought the problems were didn’t surface first. and it surprised me that it was my negative beliefs and inability to relax/get into my body and out of my head that are the two main presenting issues.
I also used the wheel of life (a coaching tool) to write down all of the areas that are impacting on my sex drive, which was visually amazing and I can see where the priorities are to tackle first. I’ll share this with you once it’s more polished so you can use it too!
And finally, I’ve finally decided to go and talk to a specialist. I took the wheel to my boyfriend and I think I’ve finally realised that whatever is blocking me from wanting sex, I can’t figure it out alone. But that’s fine!
I definitely believe EVERYONE should either get a session with a life coach or do this course. It’s just incredible and has thrown everything into a new light, even my blog and where I’m going with it.
Wish me luck 🙂