We’ve all got them.
The lurkers at the back of our closets.
The last-to-be-picked, laundry day style, whip it out when you’ve got nothing else type of things.
I’m talking about bad pants.
You know what I mean.
The comfort pants.
The period pants with suspect stains on them.
The fun Christmas pants with the dancing roasted veg.
The knickers bought from Tesco that are still in circulation from circa 1993, holey, saggy bottomed and sprung elastic.
We all do.
And what I’m going to say may sound harsh. An overreaction perhaps. But it’s my advice.
If you’re struggling with a low sex drive, these clingy fuckers aren’t doing anything for your libido.
Because if your pants don’t make you feel good, they’re not good pants. And they’re better off in the bin.
If they’re saggy, falling off your bum, holey, faded, jaded or anything else that doesn’t make you feel amazing when you put them on.
GET. THEM.IN. THE. SEA.
Because you deserve to feel amazing in the closest garment next to your skin.
And holey granny pants won’t get you there.
I know some of them might have nice memories.
Your old pulling pants. The first thong you ever bought. A gift from some old work colleagues with that emotional leaving do (!?).
Others might represent the person you’ve always wanted to be, but aren’t.
The sequinned hot pants from your raving days with the sadly too-scratchy crotch. The gold G-String from Ann Summers that you always wanted to sashay around in but chafes like a biatch.
Still burn them.
Because if they don’t feel good, you’ll won’t feel good.
And if you want to have a great sex drive, it’s all about cultivating the sexy. And that’s about you feeling vibrant.
We ain’t going to get you there with some sagged out discoloured cloth covering your falange.
I’m not talking about spending £100 at Figleaves or buying G-strings because they’re what you think look sexy.
Nope, just get your butt down to Primark or M&S or wherever there’s great pants and buy some knickers that YOU like and that fit.
That make you feel nice.
Ones that feel great against your skin.
Ones that make you feel proud when you open your knicker draw.
Ones that represent you, now, and the sex life you want to lead.
So. This is your call to action.
Ditch the bad pants.
Spring clean your knicker draw for a better, more vibrant sex drive.