“The Power of the Snog”.
Ever heard of it?
No you probably haven’t, because I made it up.
But, I promise you, this really is your best secret weapon in the fight against a low sex drive.
This, or maybe therapy. But, you know, snogs are free and healthier so, you know….
It’s fairly straightforwards, I’ll show you how to deploy it.
Take sex off the table.
Discuss this with your partner and explain why you need this time, and that you hope it’ll improve things between you.
Ask them to promise not to try it on with you.
They can touch themselves in between if they want to, but explain how important this is.
I’d say 1-2 weeks is OK and hopefully long enough, but see how you feel and check in with your partner.
Yes they’ll probably whine a little, but let them know that you’re trying and that surely they can live without it a little longer.
Start snogging their face off.
I mean it.
Like you did when you first got together.
Press up against them in the kitchen.
Do all the fun snoggy moves you used to do back when kissing was a thing you did just because you wanted to.
Flicker your tongue over their lips.
Kiss hard, kiss softly. Kiss for long, and then walk away leaving them wanting more.
Kiss them in the shower, in the garage, in the supermarket.
Don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. Make out like your life depends on it.
This is the important part.
Make sure you walk away or break apart without anything else hot and heavy happening.
They’ll beg you for more, paw at your clothes, tell you it’s unfair to leave them hanging. But this has to happen for things to get better. Trust me.
And thats it!
How will this help?
Because, do you remember the last time you kissed just for kissings sake?
I’ll be willing to bet you don’t.
When you get stuck into a low sex relationship, kissing often signals the build up to sex. So kissing comes with expectation. Kissing, touching, even a look, is pressure. Kissing might have even become a boring precursor to sex.
You might even have got to the point where you kiss your partner like you would in Church.
And where’s the fun in that, hey?
It works because, firstly, sex is off the cards. Previously, a kiss meant the pressure will still be there to have sex.
And the idea behind the power of the snog is to build the tease, anticipation and cut the expectation.
It’s about reconnecting in a way that you did when you first began your relationship. It’s increasing the affection and attraction between you. It bridges that gap that’s opened because sex has become a pressure point.
It also gives you back control, over where, when, how and how often you make the first move.
Hopefully it’ll give you a couple of fanny gallops as you do it- your vulva is waking up again. And, when the celibate period comes to an end, the idea is that you’ll have increased your desire towards having sex. If not, keep trying.
Basically, it’s bloody marvellous.
This worked SO well for me. Like, SO WELL. My boyfriend really got the idea (despite also complaining a lot about blue balls- what a baby). But genuinely it reduced the pressure and I actually ENJOYED snogging, touching and basic affection again without jumping straight to my crazy anxious place. Good times.
I’d love to know how you get on if you’ve tried this tip? Tell me immediately below.