Sex is all about sensation.

And if your mind is too full with thoughts- whether anxious, creative, or others- it’s really difficult to focus on the task at hand because we’re stuck in our own heads.

When that happens (according to Emily Nagoski), our foot is so far down on our sexual brake it becomes really difficult to get in the mood.

What Emily advises in desperate times such as these is that we work out what’s turning us OFF, rather than adding anything that turns us ON.

And that, friends, is where the post-its come in.

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This is one of the best (if incredibly unsexy) tips I’ve discovered to keep my sex life going.

Keep a notebook, or a post-it note next to your bed, along with a trusty pen.

And any time you have an ingenious (or worried) thought…

WRITE IT DOWN.

Yes guys, it IS a bit bloody weird to be part way through sex and pause to lean over and crazily scribble down the idea for your next novel or a reminder to ask the bloke in IT how his sick cat is.

But what WORKS is that it gets those thoughts out of your brain and onto the paper, leaving your mind free to enjoy sex rather than keep them jangling around our inside our heads.

It works similar to a CBT worry period (if you’ve ever experienced that) where you write down the thing that worries you and come back to it later.

Turn off the turn offs, so you can get turned on. Simples!

Taking the turn off thought out of your brain and safely storing it on a piece of paper means you’ll retain your genius plan for world domination and/or keep that worry for a time when you’re not bonking to come back to.

And your mind can just focus on getting down and diiiirty. And the more you do it, the less you’ll need it.

Of course it requires a partner who can put up with this level of insanity, but I like to think they’d rather you had a nice time than be all up in your own head envisaging winning the nobel peace prize while they’ve got their face in your fanny.

Hopefully they’ll put up with a few scribbly interruptions to improve your bonking.

So, if you’ve got a hairbrained scheme that’s stopping you from shagging, or an email to respond to that’s barring you from banging, a notebook next to the bed is perfect.

Your thoughts are nestled securely in their papery home, and you’ve got the green light for sex sex sex.

P.S. if you found this article useful and you, like me, struggle to stay present, I’ve written loads more under the anxiety¬†category on the blog.

Happy doodling!