1. How to find, feel and express your sexuality

This is where it all started for me too, so welcome.

Since I’ve begun researching my sexuality and exploring how to express it, I’ve realised there are SO many myths and assumptions about sex, sexuality and-thrown into the mix- about being a woman, that can mean many of us are:

  • uneducated
  • ashamed
  • embarrassed
  • pressured

when it comes to sex and being able to ask for what we want.

Often, because our sex education classes at school didn’t focus on our sexual pleasure (or anything in detail about how desire and arousal work), and because our society has shamed and marginalised (if not completely ignored) women’s sexual pleasure throughout history, many of us are completely in the dark about how our bodies work or how to enjoy sex.

So, our actual understanding of our sexuality and our bodies may be fairly limited. (I mean, mine was frankly atrocious!).

Whether you’ve lost your sexual identity, or you never connected with her in the first place, this section is for you.

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Not feeling in touch with your sexuality or being able to express yourself can feel like:

  • you always go along with what pleasures your partner in bed
  • you accidentally stumble across what feels good (if you’re lucky) rather than actively seek it out
  • sex has just always been a bit, well, “meh”
  • you find it difficult to tell others what feels good for you
  • you don’t really feel “sexy”
  • you feel kind of empty, numb, or passive in bed

I felt all of those things and more.

And I realised that one of the first things I needed to do was try to find my sexuality!

For me, that meant being able to express myself in the way I wanted to.

So, below are some of the posts and resources I’ve compiled about HOW to begin this journey of sexploration- right from basics through to the more complex.

This is something that’s ongoing for me, and reading new resources and blogs are so key to continuing to learn, explore and grow.

Below basically comprises of:

  1. How society, history and culture impacts on the messages we receive about sex/how we see ourselves sexually
  2. Learning more about your body (and sex drive)
  3. How to take ownership of your sexuality (which basically means…..)
  4. …..Learning what you like
  5. … and feeling confident asking for it

Feel free to dip in and dip out to whatever’s useful to you- after all, it’s your journey…..

Don’t just lie back and think of England.... take responsibility for your pleasure: Women have been socialised to be passive during sex. How can you change this and begin a journey towards sexual empowerment, knowing what you want and instructing others?

Understanding how your sex drive works- if you don’t know this, how will you ever learn how to get it back?

Kick the unsexy to the kerb: Feeling sexy often involves the absence of certain things rather than the presence of othersClick through to find out why writing an “unsexy” list could be key to increasing your desire by knowing what to minimise in your life.

Learning how (and making time to) feel sexy Often time to spend on yourself and feeling good is crowded out by other priorities. For me, I could never combine my personality with feeling sexy- so I had to learn!

Knowing what turns you on this is essential reading for anyone keen on being able to have GREAT sex but not having a fig on what even gets them hot under the collar.

Making time for fantasy and imagination- Esther Perel states; “the crisis of desire is often a crisis of the imagination”. Do you agree? These are the tips and tricks to incorporate imagination and fantasy into your every day life I used, which will help cultivate your sexual identity, bring sex into your life in a healthy way, and boost your sex drive.

Asking for what you want– the final chapter in the three most important keys to taking responsibility for your own sexuality

I’d love to know how you’re getting on? Drop me a comment below or an email: hellosexponential@gmail.com

Love love,

L

xx

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