3. Looking after our emotional and psychological well-being

Many people say that your sex drive is like a barometer for your general wellbeing.

Because, a drop in libido isn’t random.

It’s a message from your vagina, head and heart indicating that something isn’t right.

Quite often, that’s around your mental and emotional wellbeing.

(a barometer measures air pressure and indicates when there’s a change in the weather).

When I experienced a lengthy dip in desire, everything pointed to how busy, tired and stressed I felt.

I felt faded , frayed, numb..

Ultimately, I realised that stress and anxiety were the main things that killed my sex drive.

That’s because your sexual energy is like a life force. It’s vibrant, beautiful, burning- it’s what gets you out of bed, fosters creativity, drive and passion.

Without it, life and you can feel empty.

So, being emotionally healthy often means being sexually healthy too.

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Learning about what dampens desire within your mind is a great starting point to knowing how to manage a low libido.

There are three main culprits that impact on our mental wellbeing, that then decrease our desire.

These are:

*Click the links above to find out more about how each issue impacts on your sex drive as well as personal stories, guidance and tips of how to manage*

There’s often a silence around mental health in our society- it can feel taboo to speak about it or to admit we’re not coping.

Add to that a lack of desire for sex (which is also a hidden issue), and if you try and talk about it to others (especially British people!) we’re basically like this:


However, our mental health often has a huge impact on our sex drives, and visa versa! Our mental health and/or mood might suffer because we’re not able to function or perform how we want to in bed.

The cross-over is huge, so it’s important that we not only speak out about our mental health but we also start breaking the silence about how sexual and mental health collides.

How about you- how does your mental health impact on your sex drive?



P.S. if you found this section on your emotional health useful, you might want to also visit the sections on physical health or stress/being busy and reprioritising sex to find out more about other linked issues that could be impacting on your sex drive.

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