sensuality sɛnʃʊˈalɪti/ noun
- the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure. “he ate the grapes with surprising sensuality”
Leonardo DaVinci once said: “intellectual passion drives out sensuality”.
What I think he means is that, if we spend our lives in our brains and overthinking sex, we never get a chance to develop our sensual side.
And it made me wonder- perhaps my sex drive isn’t broken, I’ve just lost connection with my sensuality.
Essentially, sex is sensuality- it’s ALL about touch, taste, smell, sight, sound.
And as you may already know, feeling anxious, worrying about our bodies and what we look like having sex, being busy and unable to relax are all ways that we’re lifted away from our bodies and senses and are caught up in our minds.
So, to bring back my sex drive, it seemed to me that a focussing on cultivating that sense of sensuality, both in and out of the bedroom, is worth a try. So, what did I do?
1- Getting back into my body and out of my head.
Sex is all about the body, but if you experience anxiety it can leave you feeling locked inside your own head and paralysed by worry.
So the idea was to get moving to increase my connection with my body through exercise. Check out this post on why exercise is important (yawn) but more importantly, WHAT exercise helps.
I also love this great resource from Cat Meyer on 6 ways to drop down into your body and our of your head free e-book.
2- Waking up my body
When I first thought of this, I wasn’t even sure what I mean necessarily! But I knew that my body felt like it was lying dormant- I used my head all the time at work to map and plan and organise, so it was time to use my body more. I felt that there must be some way to increase the sensitivity of my body and my senses to touch (as I had felt numb to it).
I knew exercise would be one part of this, but I was sure there was more than one way to get my body going again and respond to touch.
Then I read that when some women are pregnant, because their breasts swell and vulvas becomes swollen because of the increased blood flow they become more sensitive. And we’ve all heard of pregnant women having the mega horn- this is why! So, to increase my sex drive, I wanted to try to manually recreate that sensitivity and wake myself up to sensuality. And here’s how I did it (COMING SOON).
3: Embracing the feminine.
So when I first started reading about the idea of the feminine and the goddess revolution, I thought it was pretty cheesy I must admit! But along my journey I’ve realised that we need to shake off the solely medical model of sex drives and embrace different streams of thought about improving it.
I’m a bit cynical and can’t be doing with that weird hippy shit. But theres something in the feminine power thing!
So, hear me out- read this section to find out more (COMING SOON)
4: making my bedroom a sensual space to be
Your environment has a lot of impact on how you feel.
And so it makes sense that your bedroom can influence your sex life, right? Or at least, I think so. Read this post on how I attempted to turn my boring bedroom into a sexual boudoir fit for a sensual goddess. Or, just went to Next on a spending spree. (COMING SOON)
- I really like this article from Prevention.com on reclaiming your sensuality and this one about the five energetic principles of sex.
So, how do you bring sensuality into your everyday? Do you think this might help reinvigorate your sex drive?