2. How to find, feel and express your sexuality

This is where it all started for me too, so welcome.

We’re not taught in sex ed at school about sex PROPERLY.

Sure we’ve put a banana on a condom, but do many of us *really* know about female pleasure? About how our bodies work?

I certainly didn’t.

No one ever told me that sex was SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD (for me)!

And I knew even less about what I *actually* wanted in bed. Like, what feels good. What I want, not what my partner is doing.

And I was clueless about how to express myself. This meant:

  • not asking for what I want
  • not feeling sexy/empowered
  • not owning my own sexuality and sexual expression.

I’d also COMPLETELY forgotten what feeling sexual felt like- there was no muscle memory or even breadcrumb trail to make my way back on. I felt like a wet blanket in bed, and it wasn’t a good look. Or a good feeling, I can tell you.

Kinda sad, right?

So, at some point along the journey I realised an important (or even accidental) step was that I needed to initiate the re-education of Ms Lauryn Hill. AKA me. And the biggest steps involved were:

  • giving myself a brand new sex education
  • taking responsibility for my own sexual pleasure
  • and waking up my body and mind to the amazing tingly feeling of sexuality.

So, below are some of the posts and resources I’ve compiled about HOW to begin this journey of sexploration- right from basics through to the more complex.

This is something that’s ongoing for me, and reading new resources and blogs are so key to continuing to learn, explore and grow.

Feel free to dip in and dip out to whatever’s useful to you- after all, it’s your journey…..

Don’t just lie back and think of England.... take responsibility for your pleasure: Women have been socialised to be passive during sex. How can you change this and begin a journey towards sexual empowerment, knowing what you want and instructing others? *INSERT SEARCH FOR SEXUALITY ARTICLE*

Understanding how your sex drive works- if you don’t know this, how will you ever learn how to get it back?

Knowing what turns you on this is essential reading for anyone keen on being able to have GREAT sex but not having a fig on what even gets them hot under the collar.

Asking for what you want– once you’ve worked out the above (or even a teency bit of what you like) it ain’t gonna do any good if you aren’t able to tell anyone else what you like 🙂

Connecting to your sexuality- this was a weird one for me, but I realised I needed to somehow “wake up” my sleepy sexuality. I couldn’t bloody remember what it felt to be sexual, so I needed to reconnect (or to be honest, even initiate contact) to that part of me that knew what it was to be sexual. This was a super interesting ride!

I’d love to know how you’re getting on? Drop me a comment below or an email: hellosexponential@gmail.com

Love love,



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