Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on a diet of coffee, adrenaline and busyness. She worked in a somewhat un-fairy-tale-esque high pressured job in London, studied for an MA part-time and lived in a shabby shared flat in the East End. That girl was me. And unlike in the movies where… Read More Stress killed my sex drive. Here’s how I got it back…
Original article posted on www.thecut.com I was at Target on a mission. I’d never bought a sex toy before, but there I was, standing between shelves of pregnancy tests and shelves of condoms, where the store stocked a variety of tiny vibrators and lube. Here, I hoped, was where I’d find the tools to help… Read More #sexdrivestories “Treating My Anxiety Made My Sex Life Worse”
Originally published on Medium.com: As a someone who is queer, polyamorous, kinky, and suffers from vulvodynia, I function in two distinct social circles. Most of the important people in my life, be it my friends, partners or lovers, identify as sex-positive and share with me at least one of those first three labels. My other… Read More #sexdrivestories “Sex Positivity, Sex, and Vulvodynia”
Guest post- taken from “A Kink in the Bedroom” There, I said it: I don’t have sex with my husband. In the past three years, the number of times we’ve had sex could probably be counted on two hands…maybe even one. My therapist says it probably came from a trauma, and while I have no… Read More #sexdrivestories “I don’t have sex with my husband”
I don’t know about you, but my sex education in school was terrible! Pleasure was NOT a word that ever passed the lips and wet moustache of my terrifying science teacher. He just wheeled out an old 80s TV on legs and showed us a video of a woman having a baby. My saucer-eyed class… Read More Don’t just lie back and think of England…. take responsibility for your pleasure
When I first realized my sex drive was nowhere to be found, I scoured the internet for a solution. A common piece of advice given by both dodgy websites and well-known sex therapists is to schedule in sex. Book it in, they said. It’ll be great, they said. Yes, we know it doesn’t sound the… Read More Can reading erotica help you get a better sex drive?
Not surprisingly, our desire for sex is influenced by the quality of the actual sex we’re having (or, in this case, not having.) And if we believe certain myths about sex, any bonking we’re doing might be overshadowed by unrealistic expectations of what we should be doing or how sex should be. Many of these… Read More The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive
Frosties….. shreddies…. sex? It might just be me, but I find my partners pre-brekkie requests for sex that evening- often casually spoken over the sounds of buttering toast and rustling cereal- a real turn off. There are few words in the English language that give me more dread than when he utters the phrase: “can… Read More The dread of the pre-breakfast sex request
When I lost my sex drive, I read tons of books and voraciously devoured anything online that might help me. With little avail. I’d lost my ability to feel sexual- I couldn’t even remember HOW TO. So I set about using my knowledge and experience to create a set of tools to help me coach… Read More Introducing the sex drive improvement wheel…
Although there are many things that can take away our desire for sex, not feeling clean is one that we don’t talk about much. Poor personal hygiene is something that many of us experience- perhaps more often than we’d like to admit. Much as we’d like to imagine ourselves as fresh as a daisy, we can all… Read More Could having a shower help boost your sex drive?