How to reduce stress/fix a busy life and re-prioritize sex, Making time for sex, My journey, Stress, Your mental/emotional wellbeing

Stress killed my sex drive. Here’s how I got it back…

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on a diet of coffee, adrenaline and busyness. She worked in a somewhat un-fairy-tale-esque high pressured job in London, studied for an MA part-time and lived in a shabby shared flat in the East End. That girl was me. And unlike in the movies where… Read More Stress killed my sex drive. Here’s how I got it back…

Building a community, How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity

Don’t just lie back and think of England…. take responsibility for your pleasure

I don’t know about you, but my sex education in school was terrible! Pleasure was NOT a word that ever passed the lips and wet moustache of my terrifying science teacher. He just wheeled out an old 80s TV on legs and showed us a video of a woman having a baby. My saucer-eyed class… Read More Don’t just lie back and think of England…. take responsibility for your pleasure

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Making time for fantasy and imagination

Can reading erotica help you get a better sex drive?

When I first realized my sex drive was nowhere to be found, I scoured the internet for a solution. A common piece of advice given by both dodgy websites and well-known sex therapists is to schedule in sex. Book it in, they said. It’ll be great, they said. Yes, we know it doesn’t sound the… Read More Can reading erotica help you get a better sex drive?

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive

Not surprisingly, our desire for sex is influenced by the quality of the actual sex we’re having (or, in this case, not having.) And if we believe certain myths about sex, any bonking we’re doing might be overshadowed by unrealistic expectations of what we should be doing or how sex should be. Many of these… Read More The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive

Initiation and control, Relationship patterns and habits

The dread of the pre-breakfast sex request

Frosties….. shreddies…. sex? It might just be me, but I find my partners pre-brekkie requests for sex that evening- often casually spoken over the sounds of buttering toast and rustling cereal- a real turn off. There are few words in the English language that give me more dread than when he utters the phrase: “can… Read More The dread of the pre-breakfast sex request