I don’t know about you, but my sex education in school was terrible! Pleasure was NOT a word that ever passed the lips and wet moustache of my terrifying science teacher. He just wheeled out an old 80s TV on legs and showed us a video of a woman having a baby. My saucer-eyed class… Read More Don’t just lie back and think of England…. take responsibility for your pleasure
When I first realized my sex drive was nowhere to be found, I scoured the internet for a solution. A common piece of advice given by both dodgy websites and well-known sex therapists is to schedule in sex. Book it in, they said. It’ll be great, they said. Yes, we know it doesn’t sound the… Read More Can reading erotica help you get a better sex drive?
Not surprisingly, our desire for sex is influenced by the quality of the actual sex we’re having (or, in this case, not having.) And if we believe certain myths about sex, any bonking we’re doing might be overshadowed by unrealistic expectations of what we should be doing or how sex should be. Many of these… Read More The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive
If you’ve been following this blog for a while you’ll know that I’ve experienced issues with my sex drive for nearly three years now. The problem is mainly, being young (31!) but not ever really wanting or feeling bothered about sex. Lacking desire feels like you’ve lost that spark that makes you human. It’s tough,… Read More The five thieves of desire
When I first started out researching my flagging sex drive, I spent HOURS trying to work out “how to feel sexy”. I was tits deep in Cosmo, Red, Elite Daily and Bustle trying to figure out just what other women do to feel sexy. I kept wondering blankly- what makes me feel sexy? And all… Read More Why writing an “unsexy” list is the smart secret to feeling sexy!
HAVE YOU EVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT? Because when you really don’t fancy having it, and you feel like an alien human species being the only one who doesn’t seem to understand what all the fuss is about (or feeling sad because you do but you can’t work out why you don’t want to), it’s useful to… Read More What drives us to actually WANT to have sex?
When you think you are struggling with a low sex drive, all of your attention and focus tends to be on the times you don’t feel like having sex. Which means you focus on whats going wrong, not whats right. Tracking what turns you on, and what feels good, is a great place to start… Read More What turns you on?
So, this blog post is on arousal. You might know by now that desire for sex may come *after* arousal for some women (if you didn’t know this, read here). Therefore, knowing what arousal is, and the physical sensations and changes that happen to our bodies, is crucial for understanding more about our sex drives.… Read More What does it mean to be “aroused”?
The amazing blogger our kinky adventures wrote about the idea that there are two types of sex drive (emotional and physical) on another post under #sexdrivestories recently. After reading it, it hit me that my libido also works in two ways beyond what she has described. And I couldn’t help but wonder where does desire come… Read More The two origins of desire.
Many women (about 70%) have a more “slow burn” approach to having sex. I’ve written a whole post about it here, but in a nutshell if that’s you, you might find that quite often you lack the desire to have sex until after you’ve been warmed up a bit through kissing, touching and foreplay. And that’s… Read More Six tips to get turned on if you’re a “slow burner”…