How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive

Not surprisingly, our desire for sex is influenced by the quality of the actual sex we’re having (or, in this case, not having.) And if we believe certain myths about sex, any bonking we’re doing might be overshadowed by unrealistic expectations of what we should be doing or how sex should be. Many of these… Read More The three biggest myths about sex that could be killing your sex drive

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

The five thieves of desire

If you’ve been following this blog for a while you’ll know that I’ve experienced issues with my sex drive for nearly three years now. The problem is mainly, being young (31!) but not ever really wanting or feeling bothered about sex. Lacking desire feels like you’ve lost that spark that makes you human. It’s tough,… Read More The five thieves of desire

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

What drives us to actually WANT to have sex?

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT? Because when you really don’t fancy having it, and you feel like an alien human species being the only one who doesn’t seem to understand what all the fuss is about (or feeling sad because you do but you can’t work out why you don’t want to), it’s useful to… Read More What drives us to actually WANT to have sex?

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

What does it mean to be “aroused”?

So, this blog post is on arousal. You might know by now that desire for sex may come *after* arousal for some women (if you didn’t know this, read here). Therefore, knowing what arousal is, and the physical sensations and changes that happen to our bodies, is crucial for understanding more about our sex drives.… Read More What does it mean to be “aroused”?

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Knowing what turns you on, Understanding how your sex drive works

The two origins of desire.

The amazing blogger our kinky adventures wrote about the idea that there are two types of sex drive (emotional and physical) on another post under #sexdrivestories recently. After reading it, it hit me that my libido also works in two ways beyond what she has described. And I couldn’t help but wonder where does desire come… Read More The two origins of desire.

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Random, Understanding how your sex drive works

Six tips to get turned on if you’re a “slow burner”…

Many women (about 70%) have a more “slow burn” approach to having sex. I’ve written a whole post about it here, but in a nutshell if that’s you, you might find that quite often you lack the desire to have sex until after you’ve been warmed up a bit through kissing, touching and foreplay. And that’s… Read More Six tips to get turned on if you’re a “slow burner”…

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

You’re not broken: here’s why we need to change the language about having a “low sex drive”

Step one of embarking on a journey to find your sex drive is to consider whether it’s really lost. I was talking with my boyfriend recently, and I kept saying I’d lost my desire to have sex, and I needed to find it. I also referred to myself as broken. He paused, chewed his lip,… Read More You’re not broken: here’s why we need to change the language about having a “low sex drive”

How to discover (or rekindle) your sexual identity, Understanding how your sex drive works

Different types of sex drives: are you a fire starter or a slow burn?

The discovery of Emily Nagoski and her explanation of different types of sexual responses was life changing for me. Here’s why…. Your sex drive is part of what is known as your “sexual response”. Sexual health professionals agree that roughly your response has three parts: Desire: When someone really wants to have sex with someone else,… Read More Different types of sex drives: are you a fire starter or a slow burn?