If you are totally RUBBISH at talking dirty. Like this kind of level of awkward: Then you’re not alone. So many of us find it tough to “talk dirty”- which basically just means telling our partner what we like and feels good for us in bed. Let’s get diiiirty However, talking dirty is actually a …
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Improving sex within a relationship
The dark side of desire: why we should be cautious telling women with a low libido to schedule in sex.
From my experiences, scheduling sex isn’t always the best advice to give to women with a low libido, or women with responsive desire. Here’s why…
Is resentment killing your desire? Here’s how to resolve it.
“Resentment is the persistent feeling that you’re being treated unfairly – not getting due respect, appreciation, affection, help, apology, consideration, praise, or reward.” Steven Sosny Resentment towards our partner can have a major impact on our desire. It’s caused by a suppression of emotion. Perhaps we don’t feel able to say how we feel or there’s …
Why a lack of seduction might be what’s turning you off, and how to fix it!
For the benefit of the people at the back I present to you exhibit A in the case of the missing sex drive: the phrase… “fancy giving me a blowie?”. If you’ve lost your sex drive, this might be to do with your partners *ahem* less than seductive request for a shag. In fact, this is …
What is the “Coolidge Effect” and why it might be putting the deep freeze on your hot sex plans.
There is a very stubborn misconception that exists around sex in long term relationships. That good sex will “just happen”. And that if you need to work at it, your relationship or you have somehow failed. However, if you’re finding yourself feeling like the sex has got a little “meh”, or your attraction to your …
How to have more sex by stopping having sex!?
If we don’t fancy having sex, it can get to the point where it’s “a big deal”. We can start associating sexual pressure even with the smallest acts of affection by our partners. It can feel like every single hug, kiss, brush past or shuffle on the sofa has an ulterior motive. We shy away …
#sexdrivestories “Sex Positivity, Sex, and Vulvodynia”
Originally published on Medium.com: As a someone who is queer, polyamorous, kinky, and suffers from vulvodynia, I function in two distinct social circles. Most of the important people in my life, be it my friends, partners or lovers, identify as sex-positive and share with me at least one of those first three labels. My other …
Why a pre-breakfast sex request can spell disaster for your libido
Frosties….. shreddies…. sex? For some women, there are few words in the English language that give them more dread than when their partner utters the phrase: “can we have sex tonight?“. Often casually spoken over the sounds of buttering toast and rustling cereal, a pre-breakfast sex request can be a real turn off. Why can this …
A snog everyday keeps the (sex) doctor away
When was the last time you kissed your partner? I mean a full on, passionate snog like there’s no tomorrow? I’ll wager that it’s not recently, or frequency. Do you remember the last time you kissed just for kissings sake? To explore each other, to caress, for pleasure. I’ll be willing to bet you don’t. …
Are you caught in a sexual avoidance cycle?
Sometimes we get stuck into patterns and habits around sex that are hard to see, and even harder to break. An incredibly common one is what Jessa Zimmerman calls the “sexual avoidance cycle”. This is how desire is impacted in the longer term by the quality of the sex that we are (or were) having. …
“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”.
“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”- Sexology (film) Sex is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. That ability to be present, to let go and relinquish control, to give over to pleasure and let the waves of sex sweep …
The magic of lube if you’re having a “dry spell”
NEWS FLASH. Lube is for everyone because sometimes we ALL STRUGGLE TO GET WET. There are tons of reasons why it can be hard for women to get aroused, ranging from: anxiety feeling tired being dehydrated as part of the menopause And many more. Often we think lube is only for older people, but in …
#Sexdrivestories: sex to make a tiny human- more function than pleasure?
Submitted by anonymous: My partner and I have been together 9 years so have really had to put some effort in to keeping our sex life exciting and fresh, which up until a year ago we had sussed out. Then we decided we were going to try for a baby. Suddenly sex isn’t something we …
Six tips to get turned on quickly for those with responsive desire
Many women (about 70%) have a more “slow burn” approach to having sex. If that’s you, you might find that quite often you lack the desire to have sex until after you’ve been warmed up a bit through kissing, touching and foreplay. And that’s totally OK- it’s most of the women in the world that …
Do you know what your erotic blueprint is?
Have you ever heard of an erotic blueprint? No it’s not some kind of weird newfangled STD all the kids are getting. It’s an amazing (and little-known) way of understanding how you like to be turned on. The sexual blueprint quiz Jaiya, an award-winning sexologist, believes that we each have a way we are intrinsically …