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Anxiety Connecting to your sexuality Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing

8 ways that anxiety closes down desire

Whether we’re worried about life generally, or if the thoughts just extend to getting down and diiirty, anxiety can wreak havoc with our sex drive. In fact, being anxious is the literal opposite to being turned on, relaxed and experiencing pleasure. Knowing more about how anxiety affects us, as well as why, can be really …

Anxiety Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing Waking up to pleasure

4 reasons why you should focus on pleasuring your partner first if you get a bit anxious during sex

Warning: this does rely on having a partner who will pleasure you in return! I know you might not feel like having sex (that’s why you’re here, right?), so I’m sure watching paint dry seems more appealing than giving a blowie… but hear me out first. Our sex drives differ hugely from person to person. …

Anxiety Improving sex within a relationship Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing Sex and Stress Too little intimacy Waking up to pleasure

“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”.

“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”- Sexology (film) Sex is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. That ability to be present, to let go and relinquish control, to give over to pleasure and let the waves of sex sweep …

Anxiety Food and nutrition Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing My journey Physical health Waking up to pleasure

I gave up coffee to see if it had an impact on my sex drive. Here’s what I found….

For some people (the chosen ones) caffeine does wonders. It helps boost mood, energy levels, productivity,  for some fuckers it even boosts their sex drive. But sadly (cue sad violin music) for others, caffeine is a total bitch, and has links to a decreased sex drive. This is because… It can increase anxiety: Caffeine can …

Anxiety Connecting to your sexuality Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing

11 tips to help you manage anxiety and increase your sex drive

Anxiety can wreak havoc on your sex drive, with worried thoughts completely closing down any sense of desire. Find out more about why this happens here. Alongside some tips for managing in the moment when you’re worrying, below are some more general ways to help ease anxiety below (including some ideas you might not have …

Connecting to your sexuality Improving sex within a relationship Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Understanding how your sex drive works

Six tips to get turned on quickly for those with responsive desire

Many women (about 70%) have a more “slow burn” approach to having sex. If that’s you, you might find that quite often you lack the desire to have sex until after you’ve been warmed up a bit through kissing, touching and foreplay. And that’s totally OK- it’s most of the women in the world that …

Connecting to your sexuality My journey Understanding how your sex drive works

You’re not broken: here’s why we need to change the language about having a “low sex drive”

Step one of embarking on a journey to find your sex drive is to consider whether it’s really lost. A personal story of mine is pretty relevant here. I was talking with my boyfriend recently, and I kept saying I’d “lost” my desire to have sex, and I needed to find it. I also referred …

Body Image and self-esteem Connecting to your sexuality Waking up to pleasure Waking up your body

2 fabulous reasons why looking at your vulva can improve your sex drive.

It’s one of the VERY FIRST things that Emily Nagoski’s “Come As You Are” book (AKA the sex drive bible) recommends. Get to know your pussy. Love your famwa. Get intimate with your vagine. And she’s the expert, so its obviously pretty important. Many of us might’ve done the bathroom squat with a hand mirror when …

Finding time for sex/to feel sexy Making time to feel sexy Taking responsibility for your own sexual pleasure

How to practise sexual self care

As it’s #selfcare week, here is a cordial reminder of the importance of sexual self care. No you dirty bugger- it’s not just about wanking (although, that is kinda part of it). Sexual self care is about all increasing your wellness. And specifically your sexual wellness. They say…. It makes sense that if you’re feeling …

Asking for what you want Connecting to your sexuality Improving sex within a relationship Knowing what turns you on Quizzes Tools

Do you know what your erotic blueprint is?

Have you ever heard of an erotic blueprint? No it’s not some kind of weird newfangled STD all the kids are getting. It’s an amazing (and little-known) way of understanding how you like to be turned on. The sexual blueprint quiz Jaiya, an award-winning sexologist, believes that we each have a way we are intrinsically …