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Anxiety Body Image and self-esteem How to be sexually authentic/connect to your sexuality How to have better sex How to wake up to pleasure/sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex

#13 tips on how to relax into sex for people who struggle to let go

It can be incredibly difficult to feel completely relaxed when having sex. Whether that’s because of distracting thoughts or fear of judgement from our partners, actually being ourselves and feeling free in bed seems almost impossible. Below are 13 tried and tested ways to help you feel more relaxed and …

Anxiety Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

Discover this simple trick to capture anxious thoughts and improve your sex drive

Sex is all about sensation. And if your mind is too full with thoughts- whether anxious, creative, or others- it’s really difficult to focus on the task at hand because we’re stuck in our own heads. When that happens (according to Emily Nagoski), our foot is so far down on …

Anxiety How to wake up to pleasure/sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Sex and Stress Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

Could this pesky skill be the cause of your low sex drive?

Multi-tasking and desire Dr Lori Brotto in her book “Better Sex Through Mindfulness” puts “non-arousal” (AKA not being able to get fully in the mood) down to three things because of how these states of being make it hard to focus on the present. Two are covered on the site already- …

Anxiety Feminism How to be sexually authentic/connect to your sexuality Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

No more”star-fishing” in bed- start doing this instead

Do you know what a starfish is? No, I don’t mean this inoffensive sea creature: I mean the term “starfish” to refer to a woman in bed. The Urban Dictionary definition states that a Starfish is: A female sexual partner who remains ‘unmoved’ during lovemaking, physically non-responsive (like a ….). OR, even …

Body Image and self-esteem Exercise Sex and Stress Your physical health and the link to your sex drive

How to exercise when you really can’t be bothered (but your sex drive depends on it….)

From previous posts you’ll know that I’m not an “exercise person”. In fact, I’m far from it. But as a result of understanding more about why we exercise (hint: literally outrunning stress) I’ve begun running! It’s an absolute miracle.  But if you’ve seen me hitting the streets of London, I can …

Anxiety How to get sexy without pressure or expectation How to have better sex Issues with the sex you are (or were) having​ Pain or discomfort during sex Sex and Stress Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive Your physical health and the link to your sex drive

Are you caught in a sexual avoidance cycle?

 Sometimes we get stuck into patterns and habits around sex that are hard to see, and even harder to break. An incredibly common one is what Jessa Zimmerman calls the “sexual avoidance cycle”. This is how desire is impacted in the longer term by the quality of the sex that …

Anxiety How to be sexually authentic/connect to your sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

8 ways that anxiety closes down desire

Whether we’re worried about life generally, or if the thoughts just extend to getting down and diiirty, anxiety can wreak havoc with our sex drive. In fact, being anxious is the literal opposite to being turned on, relaxed and experiencing pleasure. Knowing more about how anxiety affects us, as well …

Anxiety How to wake up to pleasure/sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

4 reasons why you should focus on pleasuring your partner first if you get a bit anxious during sex

Warning: this does rely on having a partner who will pleasure you in return! I know you might not feel like having sex (that’s why you’re here, right?), so I’m sure watching paint dry seems more appealing than giving a blowie… but hear me out first. Our sex drives differ …

Anxiety How to have better sex How to wake up to pleasure/sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Sex and Stress Too little intimacy Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

Here’s why you can’t allow yourself to be vunerable in bed

“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”- Sexology (film) Sex is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering, and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. It’s about having tousled hair, wild eyes and an open heart. And yet, losing ourselves within sex can …

Anxiety Food and nutrition How to wake up to pleasure/sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex My journey Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive Your physical health and the link to your sex drive

I gave up coffee to see if it had an impact on my sex drive. Here’s what I found….

For some people (the chosen ones) caffeine does wonders. It helps boost mood, energy levels, productivity,  for some fuckers it even boosts their sex drive. But sadly (cue sad violin music) for others, caffeine is a total bitch, and has links to a decreased sex drive. This is because… It …

Anxiety How to be sexually authentic/connect to your sexuality Learn how to stay present and enjoy sex Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive

#5 tried and tested tips to help you turn down the volume of your anxious thoughts and increase your sex drive

Anxiety can be deafening, and makes it difficult to truly focus on and engage with the world around you. Unfortunately, it also wreaks havoc on your sex drive. Worried thoughts completely close down any sense of desire- find out more about why this happens here. Although anxiety can impact you …

Anxiety How to have better sex Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive Your physical health and the link to your sex drive

The magic of lube if you’re having a “dry spell”

NEWS FLASH. Lube is for everyone because sometimes we ALL STRUGGLE TO GET WET. There are tons of reasons why it can be hard for women to get aroused, ranging from: anxiety feeling tired being dehydrated as part of the menopause And many more. Often we think lube is only …

Anxiety Body Image and self-esteem Exercise Sex and Stress Your mood/well-being and the link to your sex drive Your physical health and the link to your sex drive

Exercise: the key to reviving desire?

We know we know. There’s health benefits. Its good for us. We’ll get a bikini body. Minimize cellulite and live a longer life… It’s all well and good having that knowledge, but actually exercising and getting out there to do it, well… for some of us, that’s easier said that …