Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on a diet of coffee, adrenaline and busyness. She worked in a somewhat un-fairy-tale-esque high pressured job in London, studied for an MA part-time and lived in a shabby shared flat in the East End. That girl was me. And unlike in the movies where… Read More Stress killed my sex drive. Here’s how I got it back…
I recently posted about realising I have female performance anxiety (FPA). It was never something I thought would apply to me. Isn’t it only blokes not being able to get hard??! However, since researching more about the issue, I found this Bustle article which really brought to life the impact FPA has on desire. Read on to… Read More Female performance anxiety and desire
So, clearly thats a headline that I never expected to write! But, I mean, why the hell not? A post about sex and Star Wars is one you want to read, right? This post was inspired by a recent evening when I was in bed trying to get in the mood to have sex. Despite… Read More Sex, anxiety and Star Wars: how to use the force to stay present
Warning: this does rely on having a partner who will pleasure you in return! I know you might not feel like having sex (that’s why you’re here, right?), so I’m sure watching paint dry seems more appealing than giving a blowie… but hear me out first. Our sex drives differ hugely from person to person.… Read More Four reasons why you should focus on pleasuring your partner first if you’ve got a low sex drive
After watching a film called Sexology (which I’d thoroughly recommend despite the cheese) I realised that a HUGE part of sex is about letting go, relaxing, and just enjoying. One of the women in the film states: “In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”. This resonated with me so deeply. It’s about… Read More “In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”.
For some people (the chosen ones) caffeine does wonders. It helps boost mood, energy levels, productivity, for some fuckers it even boosts their sex drive. But sadly (cue sad violin music) for others, caffeine is a total bitch, and has links to a decreased sex drive. This is because… It can increase anxiety: Caffeine can… Read More I gave up coffee to see if it had an impact on my sex drive. Here’s what I found….
Back in July of this year I brought along an old friend to my 30th birthday weekend celebrations. To everyone else, she was a stranger but to me I knew her intimately. Anxiety. She shadowed me closer than ever that weekend, and when I came home in floods of tears and exhausted, I knew I… Read More 6 tips to manage anxiety and increase your sex drive
I come from an anxious family. We’re door lock checkers, sun tan lotion smotherers, insomniacs, and chuck in the random obsessional thoughts about killing family members- yep, that’s us. We’re really popular people 😉 I worry about ridiculous things- whether my friends like me, whether I’m boring, if I put too many exclamation marks in… Read More 5 ways that anxiety impacts on your sex drive
If you get anxious in bed, can’t relax, or are having a dry spell, LUBE is the way forwards. It may sound obvious, but as a young *cough, yes, 30 is still young*, woman, I sometimes felt like I shouldn’t need lube. My judgmental brain told me that I should have no worries getting my… Read More If you feel anxious, lube is your friend
A sexual winter doesn’t have to mean a cold bed, ongoing breakdowns or replacement part(ner)s- there’s a lot you can do yourself to keep yourself and your desire warm during a cold spell.… Read More Sexpert advice to help keep your sex life warm and efficient this winter