The atmosphere that is conducive to feeling in the mood for sex is completely individual and varies from person to person.
Finding out what the conditions are that make you want to have sex are key to improving your sex drive. E.g.:
- Do you need to be clean/freshly washed?
- Have enough time?
- Not be overheard?
- Be seduced in a certain way?
- Have a shaved fanwa?
And then don’t be ashamed of them…. let your partner know that’s your vibe, then make them happen! The more you know about yourself, the better you’ll be at engineering the right conditions.
To help you find out what these might be, firstly I’d suggest:
- Writing an “unsexy list”- what are your turn offs?
- Keeping a sex tracker- what helps you feel turned on, what doesn’t?
These two might help you begin to narrow down what makes you feel good, and what doesn’t, so you can start incorporating these into your everyday.
However, to drill down into this a little more to find out what conditions are perfect for you, consider:
What makes you feel physically ready/opens you up to have sex?
- e.g. clean/freshly washed, hair worn down, glasses off, enough sleep, not wearing an oversize dressing gown….
What do you need to be mentally prepared/opens you up to have sex?
- E.g. not stressed, knowing the food shop is done, having a notebook and paper next to your bed, putting music on so the neighbours can’t hear, the right kind of foreplay, putting music on that relaxes you or makes you feel sexy…
What kind of physical environment opens you up to have sex?
- E.g. to create the mood, what do you need? Candles, good music, a tidy bedroom, the kids toys not poking into your back? You might also need privacy, not being overheard, the door locked. Or perhaps you like the opposite- it turns you on to be overheard, a bit of danger etc. We’re all different!
Once you know a little more about the right conditions, have a think about easy fixes to incorporate into your life that gets around these. E.g. making sure you have a shower every morning so you feel that little bit fresher, or if you feel too dehydrated for morning sex, keep mints or water next to your bed.
The more you know about you and your likes/dislikes, the more you can create the right environment for sex.
So you go girl! Get out there and shape your world.