Exploring what is behind your loss of desire is a brave step to take.
Its easier to put it off, to pretend everything is OK, and to silence worries about being broken- because scratching the surface means admitting to ourselves that all is not OK, and that feels scary.
However, in order to recover desire it’s important to face it head on, take a deep breath, and figure out exactly whats causing it. And once you’ve pinpointed that, you can begin to create a path that leads you back to yourself.
As you set about drawing this map for yourself, you’ll discover that many of these reasons for faded desire become intertwined with one another, and often one needs to be resolved before you could begin working on another. Often, what caused your low sex drive initially isn’t what then ends up sustains it, and you may find myself with a long list of very different factors- some of which might lead you to take a look at issues outside of the bedroom!
Knowing where to begin is the hardest part, but the great news is I’ve done the difficult part for you!
To help you begin this journey, I’ve mapped out below and across the site the six main factors that close down our desire for sex.
I’d encourage you to read through all of them, simply because they are all so woven through each other that trying to separate what is a cause and what is an effect of a low libido are impossible to distinguish.
So read on and I truly hope that these areas speak to you and give you some sense of a path to follow too. And if you’re not sure where to start or feel lost, try downloading this coaching toolkit that can help you explore the factors in your life that are closing down your desire and empower you towards your own path to sexual happiness.
Knowing which way you’re heading gives you purpose and hope about the future and connecting to your desire. That feeling of sexual vitality you’ve been searching for is only a heartbeat away- you’re no longer lost, and one of the most exciting and deeply enriching journeys of your life is about to begin….
Click below to take a deep dive into the factors that shape our desire:
1. Low mood/ emotional well-being
Experiencing a low mood or struggling with your emotional well-being can have a huge impact on your levels of desire. This includes factors such as:
- worries about body image
- a low self-esteem
2. Being disconnected from your sexuality
For many of us, losing our libido means completely losing touch with our sexual side. Our bodies feel numb, our minds are dulled to the erotic. In this section you’ll understand why its so important to be sexually authentic and how to create a connection between your mind, body and sexuality to truely embody a sexually empowered woman.
Connecting to your sexuality includes understanding more about:
- taking responsibility for our own sexual pleasure
- knowing our turns ons (and offs!)
- being confident asking for what we want in bed (and what holds us back)
- waking up your body and mind to desire (including cultivating anticipation, imagination and sensuality)
- learning how to relax and ‘stay present’ during sex
3. Issues Within Your Relationship
Having a healthy, supportive and stable relationship is a key component for a luscious sex drive. In this section, you can learn more about why the following affect our sex lives so badly, and ideas on how to fix it!
Including looking at:
- unhelpful ideas about sex and relationships
- too little intimacy
- too much intimacy
- lack of attraction
4. Issues with the sex you are (or were) having
This is the most commonly overlooked reason for so many women. Because maybe it’s not a low sex drive at all- its just no desire for the sex you are (or were) having.
Read on for more information about how the quality of sex (now or in the past) can really impact on your levels of desire….
Including sections on:
- How to improve sex that just doesn’t feel that great
- How a mismatched libido can mean sex becomes associated with expectation, guilt, pressure and rejection
5. Physical health issues
Our physical health can have a huge impact on our levels of desire.
Whether its your hormones, food and nutrition, contraceptives, illnesses, or things like penetration becoming painful, check out this section for help and information on how you can improve your desire for sex.
6. Not Having Enough Time
Time is a thief of desire.
In our busy lives we’re often lacking in energy and the last thing we want to do at the end of a long day is have a shag. Sex becomes a chore rather than about pleasure.
Click here to find out why prioritising time for sex (and feeling sexy) is key to increasing desire.