Have you ever heard of a sexual blueprint?
Nope, neither had I.
I wondered if it was some kind of weird newfangled STD all the kids are getting. But nope, it’s a real thing.
And it’s mind blowing.
The sexual blueprint quiz
Jaiya, an award-winning sexologist, and the amazing woman on a film I watched recently called Sexology, believes that we each have a way we are intrinsically wired to be turned on.
A bit like a love language, it’s worth finding out which one you speak…. and then figuring out whether your partner can parlez-vous the same, or the way you’d like them to.
She groups our sexual blueprints into five categories:
- Shape Shifter
And on her site there is an online quiz which let’s you know which one you are.
Can a quiz improve your sex drive?
I must admit I was a bit skeptical about how an internet quiz could help, yet in the movie Jayia comes across incredibly knowledgeable so I decided to give it a while, and I’m so glad I did.
My Sexual Blueprint came out as Energetic. This means I like temptation, build up and tension.
When I understood this, suddenly everything clicked into place.
When I wrote all of the things that turned me off in the “unsexy list” post, many of them were around rushing into sex, a lack of build up, no intrigue, mystery or tease.
And it hit me like a ton of bricks when I realised that was what was missing- we’ve fallen into the bad habit of just jumping straight into bed with no build up.
At the beginning of our relationship we had the tease, the anticipation, and the desire because we’d spend the time on foreplay beforehand and that was why I was so turned on when we got to penetration.
We’d both got lazy as time went on, and when he just went straight for my nipples or downstairs and the rest of my body or energy wasn’t getting a look in, it was like throwing a bucket of cold water over my sex fire.
My partner was approaching me in completely the wrong way to turn me on.
It now made sense to me why I was feeling so annoyed when he initiated sex, and why sex felt like an unattractive prospect for me because he wasn’t signalling sex in a way I’d respond to.
And I realised I had to learn to ask for what I wanted in bed to align more with what turned me on.
The blueprint was useful because it not only provided self-awareness, but it also gave me a language I could use to explain to my boyfriend what was going on for me. That I, like a lot of women, need a build up, intrigue, tease, and not just a boring rumble in the same sack then bed.
So I’ve begun communicating to the boyf about where, when and how he should touch me, and our sex life and my drive is beginning to ramp up-mainly because sex is much more attractive to me now!
So, what do you think- do you know your sexual blueprint? I’d love to know your results….