Reading Time: 3 minutes

Throughout my LOOOONG search for a better sex drive, I have done a ton of research. 

(I had nothing better to do, hey, since I wasn’t spending that time having sex- what’s a girl gonna do!)

From the hundreds of books, articles, podcasts, journals and experiences of others I’ve come across and spent hours unpicking, I found there are six main factors that close down our desire for sex 

Once I figured these out it was a lightbulb moment, as I was then able to go on my merry way and figure out how to reduce the impact of each of them.

So take a read through all of the sections below to explore what’s impacting on your sex drive. 

*A quick note on the 6 factors first…*

Women often not only experience more brakes than men but frustratingly many of the brakes blend into one another, so it’s really worth reading all of the sections as they intertwine a lot. 

You might also find that what caused your low sex drive initially isn’t what then ends up sustains it. For example, my sex drive dipped first because of stress (mindset and desire) but then I ended up in a horrendous cycle where sex had become such an issue in my relationship (sex and desire) that I lost all sense of my sexual self (sexual identity and desire) and turned into a source of conflict (relationships and desire). 

Click on each section below to find out more:

Women in particular struggle to express themselves sexually- e.g. not knowing what they want in bed or how to ask for it. Having a sexual identity is key to an amazing sex life, but its probably the most common factor that holds women back from enjoying sex!
Our relationships play a huge part in our levels of desire because how we feel about our partner dictates how much we'd like to have sex with them.
Experiencing a low mood or struggling with your emotional well-being can have a huge impact on your levels of desire. This includes factors such as stress, anxiety, depression, worries about body image and low self-esteem
This is probably the most commonly overlooked reason for a low sex drive, but a hugely important one. Because maybe you've not got a low sex drive at all- its just no desire for the sex you are (or were) having.
Our physical health can have a huge impact on our levels of desire. Things like your hormones, food and nutrition, contraceptives, illnesses, or things like penetration becoming painful can all close down desire.
Time is an issue for people even when they do want to have sex, but they're just not finding the hours in the day. It links to stress and busyness, priorities, sleep, our perceptions of our time (which is tied to responsive desire) as well as sexual self-care