We are proud of our approach towards female desire because we believe it sets us apart from so many other sites or posts about increasing libido.
The first thing we want to come straight out with is that it is totally NORMAL to not want sex– whether that’s temporary, or on a longer term basis.
Some women are asexual, demi-sexual, or just A-OK with having no or low desire- and there’s no judgement there from us! Women are so often sexualised that it’s a relief just to be ourselves, whoever that may be, with no pressure.
However, this site is dedicated to women who feel dissatisfied with their current sex drive, and would like to improve it. We hope that they are doing so on their own terms and not through pressure from a partner, although we recognise our relationships can be a powerful motivator for change.
We also use the term “(re)discover” your sex drive in recognition that some women may be seeking out a whole new relationship with her sex drive that she didn’t have before, and others might have found theirs perfectly satisfactory beforehand they’re just wondering where theirs is hiding.
We know that female desire is an incredibly powerful force- but it’s often misunderstood…
A lack of desire is often so medicalised and individualised so that many women feel there’s something wrong with them if their libido vanishes.
Most science around the libido is based on an understanding of male bodies so female desire doesn’t fit the usual templates we know and understand about getting turned on…
We also believe that women’s desire doesn’t just dip for no reason- their vagina hasn’t just decided to go AWOL for sh*ts and giggles. In fact it’s often a very natural and normal response to what’s going on in their lives. It makes SENSE that you might not fancy sex if (for example):
- you’ve just had a baby
- or you’re under lots of work pressure
- or you’re the main caregiver for your family
- or you’ve grown up with negative messaging around female sexuality
- or your relationship doesn’t feel quite right.
There are THOUSANDS of factors that influence desire, and often you don’t need pills or a psychiatrist to help you regain it. Which also means…
You’re also not alone- over 40% of women experience a low libido during their lifetimes!
A low sex drive is more likely to happen to women because they are women- because of elements like societal messaging about female sexuality, lack of education about pleasure, and that women are more likely to be exhausted as statistically they do most of cooking, cleaning, caring etc.
This isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen to men because it certainly does! But this platform aims to raise awareness so women don’t feel so alone experiencing a loss of libido. My message to you is- you’re not broken if you have low desire and you’re not on your own (even if you feel like it sometimes!).
We know that because there is so much pressure EVERYWHERE to look a certain way to be sexy, we promise to do our best to make this a safe zone. We’ll make every effort to represent all different body shapes, races, ages, abilities and much more! We will make every effort to avoid perpetuating traditional narratives of what is sex (e.g. pictures of lacy lingerie) and leave it up to YOU what you find sexy.
This site is aimed at self-defined women/womxn, however we hope there is something anyone can take away. However you identify you are welcome here.
This site will also ALWAYS have free content because I believe every woman deserves to have great sex.
And finally/most importantly, we believe that every woman has the potential to (re)discover* her desire. Consider this drop in your sex drive as a messenger- if you listen to what it has to say you’ll discover so much about yourself and your sexuality. We’d love to join you on your journey and hope you find this site as helpful as possible. We also LOVE feedback- drop us a line anytime or leave a comment below anything that comes to mind. xx