Improving sex within a relationship My journey Relationships Too little intimacy

Is resentment killing your desire? Here’s how to resolve it.

“Resentment is the persistent feeling that you’re being treated unfairly – not getting due respect, appreciation, affection, help, apology, consideration, praise, or reward.” Steven Sosny Resentment towards our partner can have a major impact on our desire. It’s caused by a suppression of emotion. Perhaps we don’t feel able to say how we feel or there’s …

Debunking relationship and sex myths Improving sex within a relationship Relationships

Why a lack of seduction might be what’s turning you off, and how to fix it!

For the benefit of the people at the back I present to you exhibit A in the case of the missing sex drive: the phrase… “fancy giving me a blowie?”. If you’ve lost your sex drive, this might be to do with your partners *ahem* less than seductive request for a shag. In fact, this is …

Attraction Improving sex within a relationship Relationships

What is the “Coolidge Effect” and why it might be putting the deep freeze on your hot sex plans.

There is a very stubborn misconception that exists around sex in long term relationships. That good sex will “just happen”. And that if you need to work at it, your relationship or you have somehow failed. However, if you’re finding yourself feeling like the sex has got a little “meh”, or your attraction to your …

Improving sex within a relationship Issues with the sex you are (or were) having​ Relationships Take control of your sex life

How to have more sex by stopping having sex!?

If we don’t fancy having sex, it can get to the point where it’s “a big deal”. We can start associating sexual pressure even with the smallest acts of affection by our partners. It can feel like every single hug, kiss, brush past or shuffle on the sofa has an ulterior motive. We shy away …

Anxiety Learning to stay present and enjoy sex Mood/wellbeing Sex and Stress Waking up to pleasure

Could multi-tasking be the cause of your low sex drive?

Multi-tasking and desire Dr Lori Brotto in her book “Better Sex Through Mindfulness” puts “non-arousal” (AKA not being able to get fully in the mood) down to three things because of how these states of being make it hard to focus on the present. Two are covered on the site already- stress and anxiety . But …

Connecting to your sexuality Tools Understanding how your sex drive works

The only book you need to help with a low sex drive: “Come As You Are”, Emily Nagoski

*Note: this post contains affiliate links, so if you purchase anything you click on I might get a few pennies to say cheers* I came across this book online after my frantic googling of “help, I’m not bothered about sex”, and ordered it from Amazon with the hope that something might prove useful. I’d never …