Useful Resources

I’ve collected a few useful resources here for you that I’ve found really helpful over the last few months:

General Sex Drive/Libido resources

Emily Nagoski’s the Dirty Normal website:

This website is a treasure trove of helpful advice and tips, plus it’s jampack of information about things like the dual control model of the sex drive AND lots of free e-books, worksheets and general amazingness. Emily wrote a bazillion books and has a PhD specialising in this area, so she’s super worth listening to for anyone just starting their journey into improving their sex drive.

Emily Nagoski’s “Come as You Are” book:

AKA the bible! This book is incredible and just builds on the website information. I found particularly insightful the chapter on the stress response cycle.  Here’s the amazon link:  it’s about £9ish but SO worth it.

 1. Low mood/well-being resources

Check out SassyCat300’s link here for bloggers talking about sex and mental health. Or use the #sb4mh on twitter.

 2. Exploring sexuality

Sexology (2016)- film

This film (if you can get past the cheesiness of it and the two presenters) is a really insightful, tender exporation of female sexuality. It follows two american women and their search to reconnect with their sex drives. Its an hour and a half- watch it alone or with the girls, some popcorn, a pinch of salt, and enjoy. For those of you who are sneaky enough to want a pirate copy, maybe you could check this page out just incase you might find a copy hiding around in there. Not that I’m condoning video piracy  or anything…..

Bez Stone website and blog:

Bez Stone is a relationship coach and although I can’t vouch for any of her paid programmes, I really enjoy her blog posts and approach to sexual education. In particular she has experienced low sex drive herself, and advocates taking the pressure off in order to feel happier having sex. I also love the pictures on her Instagram account!

The Scarlet Ladies website/blog and events:

The Scarlet Ladies are a London based collective of women who want to empower other women to talk about sex. They organise great events that focus on loving your body and increasing your enjoyment of sex- well worth a look!

Amy Jo Goddard’s website .

She runs a course called Fire Women which looks great but lots of free content on her site.

Irene Fehr’s website . She’s a sex coach based in the USA that runs a course on sexual empowerment as well as writes some amazing articles for the Huffington Post- the link is here. I’d also really recommend her free e-book “3 steps to reigniting desire and wanting sex again” available by signing up here.

Maj Wismann’s website and courses:

“Quitting love isn’t an option”

The Sexual Advice Association (UK): Lack of Sexual Desire and/or Arousal

Dr Lori Beth Bisbeys website “The Intimacy Coach”: Although she doesn’t exclusively write about the libido she’s a sex coach and has a great podcast and an A-Z series on sex which I’d recommend checking out.

The Good Sex website: also written by someone with personal experience of an unsatisfying sex life, Helen Alison writes lots of great content including “fixing boring sex” and has an amazing free Sex Drive Planner to download.

 3. Relationships

Rekindling Desire is an online course from Esther Perel. I cannot vouch for the content and it’s quite pricey, but Esther has some excellent advice on her other channels/blogs.

 4. Physical health

 5. Time/environment

Forums and communities:

Reddit Dead Bedrooms: an online community for both LL (low libido) and HL (high libido) partners.

Success stories:

These are really important to share: the light at the end of the tunnel!

I’ve found a couple of note:

This great blog by a tantra teacher who discusses how she solved her dead bedroom

Bonny’s Oyster Bed 7: a blog by a Christian woman on how she solved her lack of sex drive.

This thread on Reddit.

Please share your thoughts or any other resources below 🙂


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